I Want People To Feel Better About Being Human.

By Ann Garvin / January 8, 2023 /
Human, stories, chunnel, feel better

I want people to feel better about being human. I just do. Being human is untidy—we’re inconsistent, moody, and, depending on the day, a little too gassy. And sometimes, we can’t keep any of that to ourselves. All of this can lead to embarrassment and sometimes shame, and seriously I don’t want that for you…

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Where Do You Get Your Ideas?

By Ann Garvin / November 4, 2022 /
Soulmate, flower,

Where do you get your ideas? It’s come to my attention lately that people are concerned about me. The concern isn’t health-related—my body is the best thing I’ve ever gotten for free. Occasionally, however, I do joke about my relationship status and I realize they are concerned because I’m single. I often regale listeners with…

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I’d Like to Introduce You to Some Wonderful Women

By Ann Garvin / October 24, 2022 /

I’d like to introduce you to some wonderful women. But first, a story. Erma Bombeck spoke at my college graduation. This is how her speech began. “Hello. I know you’re nervous about school ending and are filled with anticipation for the future and grief for leaving behind your loved ones. I know you’re worried you…

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The Soft Animal of Your Body

By Ann Garvin / July 20, 2022 /

The Soft Animal Of Your Body, I don’t go on vacation. I often joke about it and say, “I don’t know how not to work.” My parents straddled the silent and boomer generation–traditionalists who valued hard work, frugality, and discipline. I watched and learned, my friends. I’m an excellent student. When I went from married…

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Sneak Peek expires in one week.

By Ann Garvin / May 31, 2022 /

Sneak Peek expires in one week. THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS.  CHAPTER ONE: The Last Tug On A String I half-jogged, half-walked to catch up with my seventeen-year-old daughter, Robyn, at Chicago O’Hare Airport and all I could think about was how a person can disappear from their own life and not even know…

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What Does Dead Dad Think Now?

By Ann Garvin / April 25, 2022 /
dead dad

What Does Dead Dad Think Now? Fred Wertz, my dad, picked up every penny he saw during his daily walks. At a nimble eighty-six he’d swoop down mid-sentence and scoop up a penny, barely breaking the cadence of his step. If he walked without me my father would call to chat and report his found…

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How a Slugfest Became a Lovefest

By Ann Garvin / March 22, 2022 /
slugfest

How a Slugfest Became a Lovefest You either love me or hate me. There’s no in-between. I’m not an in-between kind of person. I’m noisy and laugh too loudly. I’m jokey, and I tear up easily. I can be unconventional. But I’m a tender-hearted soul and I have a story to tell you about love…

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A Free Nutrition Book For Writers.

By Ann Garvin / March 17, 2022 /

A Free Nutrition Book For Writers: Because butts in chairs are hard on hearts and butts. Instructions: Open up a new text on your phone In the To: section type the number 66866 In the text message area type garvin You will get a message from me Next, Put Your email in! You will receive…

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What’s The Difference Between Moving On and Letting Go?

By Ann Garvin / January 28, 2022 /
Chapter One

What’s the difference between moving on and letting go? Oof, this is a biggie. Because I just did both and we need to talk about it. You might have feelings about what I let go of–I’d love to hear what you’ve let go of lately. I woke up on the morning of January 9th of…

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Chapter One: Hear Me Out

By Ann Garvin / January 23, 2022 /
chapter one

Chapter One Hear Me Out (*Catch-up Here) Heather’s best friend Chelsea was a bloodhound for plot holes, fallacies, and faulty arguments. She could sniff out a rationalization before Heather could order a cold brew, throw it back, and formulate a rebuttal. Heather arrived early for their lunch date, sipping coffee and going over her talking…

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