Posts by Ann Garvin
Are you haphazard too?
Are you haphazard too? I tend to be a little haphazard. Is it me, or can we blame it on the world we live in? I like to blame the culture for all my misremembering, overdrafts, and wrong turns. Otherwise, my free time is spent taking Alzheimer’s quizzes and asking my daughter if it’s time…
Read MoreDay Dream Believer
Ann Garvin 2004 Official Participant Number: #130 Title: Daydream Believer Word Count: 1,400 This was her last Friday night, Dog & Suds, Arf and Barf, dinner-and-a-movie special at the Drive All Night Drive-In. No more wiener jokes; “Hey Jen, can I ride my baloney barge into your bun?” Goodbye, dick heads trying to cop…
Read MoreThe Two-Word Heart of You
The Two-Word Heart of You I met Paulina Porizkova (yes the supermodel) at an event this past month. In 1984, she became the first Central European woman to appear on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. She was eighteen. She looks the same. No, I’m sorry, she’s more beautiful, and more importantly, she…
Read MoreTrust Me On This
Trust Me On This Remember in High School, that girl, woman at your school that you couldn’t take your eyes off of? No one could, and like it or not, everyone saw her the way you did. Parents, teachers, the principal and every single boy or man in the school. I fault no one on…
Read MoreI Got Fired
I Got Fired. [Tweet “I Got Fired”] This is not a new story, but it is a true story. Several years ago, I blissfully, joyfully, dream-come-true-fully-taught creative writing in a Master of Fine Arts program in New Hampshire and I got fired. Unceremoniously and without cause, I was let the F-go. The phone rang at…
Read MoreAnn Garvin’s Teaching and Conference Schedule
2023 Ann Garvin’s Teaching and Presenting Schedule. How To Prepare The Perfect Pitch Feb. 24-26 womenwritersretreat.com Virtual Online Weekend Writing Retreat With Mollie McClure, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Karen Dionne, and Folio Lit Agency Plotting and Story Workshop March 10-12 Zibby Owen’s Fierce Women Retreat Hampton Bays, NY How To Plot With Ease…
Read MoreI Want People To Feel Better About Being Human.
I want people to feel better about being human. I just do. Being human is untidy—we’re inconsistent, moody, and, depending on the day, a little too gassy. And sometimes, we can’t keep any of that to ourselves. All of this can lead to embarrassment and sometimes shame, and seriously I don’t want that for you…
Read MoreWhere Do You Get Your Ideas?
Where do you get your ideas? It’s come to my attention lately that people are concerned about me. The concern isn’t health-related—my body is the best thing I’ve ever gotten for free. Occasionally, however, I do joke about my relationship status and I realize they are concerned because I’m single. I often regale listeners with…
Read MoreI’d Like to Introduce You to Some Wonderful Women
I’d like to introduce you to some wonderful women. But first, a story. Erma Bombeck spoke at my college graduation. This is how her speech began. “Hello. I know you’re nervous about school ending and are filled with anticipation for the future and grief for leaving behind your loved ones. I know you’re worried you…
Read MoreThe Soft Animal of Your Body
The Soft Animal Of Your Body, I don’t go on vacation. I often joke about it and say, “I don’t know how not to work.” My parents straddled the silent and boomer generation–traditionalists who valued hard work, frugality, and discipline. I watched and learned, my friends. I’m an excellent student. When I went from married…
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