Dear Darling,

I hear there is a lot of body angst going on whilst we’ve been holed up watching Netflix and buying the right face mask that perfectly encapsulates our personality. 

Some bodies have stayed the same, but facial hair has gone free-range (me). Some bodies have created a brand new shape (no judgment either way), and others’ bodies have tried more wrinkle serums than what is legal in the US (also me). 

I saw an Instagram post where a friend was angry at herself for eating ice-cream and pissed at her body for not being the shape that she wants it to be. We’ve all been there—and if you haven’t—well, please hand over your secrets.

I wrote to my friend an email to remind both of us about body changes and eating. To give her a little e-love and I thought you’d like to read it as well. 

Dear Darling,

I saw your Instagram post, and I’m here to say a couple of supportive things and then ghost-like an F-boy on Tinder. I hate people who give advice when you don’t ask for it, and yet….

  1. That ice cream you ate is a celebration of your tastebuds and a reminder that food is a glorious pleasure, keeps us alive, and a bonding point with family. It is not a whipping post. Good for you for enjoying some ice-cream with your kids.
  2. We (physiologists) don’t know how to help people lose weight (healthfully) when they are close to their ideal weight. Why don’t we know? Because why would we study weight loss on people who are close to their ideal weight? So that you can be more ideal? It’s hard and unsafe so give yourself a break. 
  3. Don’t compete with your younger body. That is a competition that you will lose with every tick of the clock. Let’s work on loving this body and working with it. How? #4 is an idea.
  4. Think of one of your children, a pet, friend, or sibling, and how much you love them. Now, give your body that nickname and love it like you give love so freely to others. Your body is looking at you with those big eyes and saying–love me, and the rest will come. This takes a lot of practice. I talked a blue streak about a lot of this here; if you want to hear me say this with feeling. https://apple.co/35ICEaa
  5. By the way, calorie deficits that dramatically change your weight make your body sit up and say WTF? Your body is trying to hang-on to itself for survival. It loves you. It’s time to slow your roll. It’s frustrating, but weight loss is like a cat. You have to coax it to come to you, and over time it will curl up and purr. I wrote more about this here if you aren’t sick of me yet https://anngarvin.net/why-you-have-trouble-losing-weight/
  6. Here’s another idea that won’t work for a lot of people. I never, ever weigh myself. I know when I’m gaining weight-I don’t need some asshat scale giving me a ranking. If my pants are tight, I pay attention. If they aren’t, I don’t notice it that much. I do something more interesting and less abusive with those seconds than weighing myself. Sometimes I pick a cuticle, sometimes I watch a TikTok. Anything is better than weighing myself.

No one has figured out weight loss in an easy one-stop-shop way. I’m just here to say he’s hard. I know. You’re doing great, sweetie.

xoxo Ann

P.S.  This little ditty is about what I want people to know about food. https://anngarvin.net/hard-thing-teaching-nutrition/

For those of you that haven’t downloaded your free nutrition book:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5m0lf0ck1kkw9aj/HOW%20TO%20EAT%20%3B%29.pdf?dl=0

[Tweet “weight loss is like a cat. You have to coax it to come to you, and over time it will curl up and purr.”]

[Tweet “No one has figured out weight loss in an easy one-stop-shop way. I’m just here to say he’s hard. I know. You’re doing great, sweetie.”]

[Tweet “I wrote to my friend an email to remind both of us about body changes and eating. To give her a little e-love and I thought you’d like to read it as well.”]

[Tweet “Don’t compete with your younger body. That is a competition that you will lose with every tick of the clock. Let’s work on loving this body and working with it. How? #4 is an idea.”]

 

 

 

3 Comments

  1. Crystal King on March 22, 2021 at 4:37 pm

    I stopped weighing myself 5 or 6 years ago and it was truly the best thing I have ever done for myself and my emotional well-being. For decades I had defined so much of myself around a number–wtf, seriously, a number?!–and to let that go has been the most freeing thing ever. When I do have to step on a scale at the doctor’s office, I always turn around and ask them to not give me the number, and they have been great about it. It was definitely the best advice I’ve ever received.

    • Ann Garvin on March 22, 2021 at 11:55 pm

      I’m so glad to hear that. I think it’s such a great habit. I just know the number means nothing so I want to support that nothing. Thank you for telling me that!

  2. denise on March 23, 2021 at 3:37 am

    I don’t even let them weigh me at the doctor’s office. I say, “No, thank you.”

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