Less Hustle, More Joy
Less Hustle, More Joy.
I spend so much time thinking about this idea it gets in the way of my Netflix streaming/binging.
Here’s what I know. If the culture (looking at you Oprah, Victoria Secret, Martha Stewart) can convince you that you don’t have The Life You Want, that your pores should not exist, that you need more baskets for organization, then you will spend money and time fixing those things. And they will make money while you run those fools errands.
Hustle. Hustle. Hustle, students of the culture. No joy for you.
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If they can convince you, then you will go to a seminar that tells you that you need to be your best self every day, that you need to make enough money to get rid of the lines on your face, lines you have earned living, I might add. That you will squint at your living room and decide that everything his wrong and you need to create a new haven. A haven outside of yourself.
I say, with a British accent (because I listen to Agatha Christie when I drive to work). Bullocks.
But bullocks is not enough. I just spoke about this at the Dream Bank in Madison Less Hustle and a woman looked at me and said, “Okay but how do I get from the hustle place to the bullocks place without feeling bad. Without feeling guilty, inadequate, weak, vulnerable to judgement, ashamed that I can’t handle the heat, and okay with myself?
That is THE question, isn’t it?
The answer to all hard questions is to make a chart.
Always make a chart.
But before the chart, write down a list of things that you value the most in your life.
Here’s mine: Health & Joy d’vie, Family/Relationships/Dogs/, Work/Speaking/Writing,House/Life Maintenance
Next you need three columns. On the left side list the hustle you’d like to reduce.
In the center how you feel when you consider hustling less. Dive in. Lean into the discomfort and figure out where it comes from and how much is it worth to you to hang on to it.
On the right consider something that you might do to help, even if you aren’t ready for it.
Hustle 2 Reduce Feeling_____________ Do
worry about my belly, Why aren’t I perfect? Be grateful for my awesome ass (lol)
fund raising, potlucks Guilty and not doing my share Evaluate in a real way, look at data
cleaning, email, book promo Anxious, harassed, angry Pay for help. Get counseling
committee work, volunteering Competitive, over achiever Own it, get counseling, meds?
Yes to stuff I should no to. Frustrated. Again, Ann again?? Slow down and evaluate
students who piss me off Worried-I am not good at my job Let it go. Counseling.
Now translation for the chart. If your hustle conflicts with your values in life, don’t do it. Don’t invest in the stuff you don’t value. Don’t put time, energy or money into it.
If you feel bad, try and dive into why you feel bad and see if it’s working for you. If you can clearly see that it isn’t working for you get help from friends, therapists, medication, cleaning people, or who or whatever can help you fit your values to your life.
Try. Try. Try again until you get it right.
I’m trying to keep this short so I’m simplifying.
It takes a little hustle to hustle less.
It takes a little hustle to hustle less. Want more? Come to the BRAVA thrive Luncheon Less Hustle More Health
I think it all can be boiled down to: feel grateful for what you do have, do what you can comfortably do, don’t stress about saying ‘no’ when you really aren’t up to the time/emotional factors involved as opposed to what you already have on your slate and offer encouragement to those who will be doing it because you just can’t be all things to all people.
Kathleen, I agree 100% I think encouragement for people goes a long way!
It’s a difficult place to get to because most of us were taught that we could have everything but to do that it seems like we have to be everything to everyone. When I turned 60, I decided that it was time to take care of ME. Just that one decision, took a lot of the hustle out of my life. I now exercise regularly instead of driving grandkids to school, take care of my diet and have started traveling with my husband. And you know what I found out??? My grandkids still love me, my friends are still my friends and I am healthier – both physically and mentally than ever before.
Our friend know it’s what we need to do, right? Our true loves.
Hi, my dear friend!:)
I LOVE this! I am definitely going to make this chart and take a good look at it everyday! I have been doing a lot of “soul searching” within the past year as to “what to do when I grow up.” At first it was very overwhelming, but now, although I am still overwhelmed, I am moving into the “excited” phase. I deactivated my Facebook account on Sunday. It wasn’t a source of joy for me as it used to be: the angry ranting, name calling, judging, and then, of course, there I was, comparing myself to many people on it. “Wow! They are so right: Their ‘Life is Good!'” I had to walk away from that hustle for a bit (great word, Ann!) Thank you for this! Love and miss you…..and I appreciate our friendship so much!:)xoxo
Two bits of advice I’ve treasured–
1. You can do what you want, but you can’t do everything you want.
2. List those things you have to do. List those things you want to do. Don’t do anything else.
As always, Ann, I like your common sense, humor, and wisdom.
Merle, you are the best. I miss you!
Ann!! On a random note I just watched your ahhhhhhmazing video and it makes me want to go and hug everyone. Then laugh. Then love. Then hug.
Starting with having a laugh, love and hug right along with you. Did that just sound like a corn dog? Don’t be surprised if you see me standing at your front door shortly.
[…] to go visit those people who don’t have any and see what they say. Or consider a little Less Hustle More Joy and read this. Share: […]
[…] Sometimes when a no is flung at you, you should say ‘no’ right back and stick with your dream. But, there are times that no means no, and it’s time to accept and carve out a different path. The thing to remember is that while there is no medal for giving up, acceptance can be just as rewarding as going for the gold-and the whole process is entirely up to you. Less Hustle More Joy….maybe. […]